I Speaka The Italian

I say ‘dine al fresco’,
but you say ‘fuori’.
I order a latte,
but taste milk on my lips.
I ask ‘coulda my pizza
hava mora pepperoni’,
you spread my hot meat feast
with sweet pepper strips.

You talk about shooting,
so I think you’re sporty,
and talk about golf,
or the little I know.
Then you get out your camera,
a Nikon a-forty,
and ask me to take off my sweater,
real slow.

It turns out that waving
my hands while I’m speaking,
or shouting,
or adding an a to each word,
won’t work on a date
when it’s romance I’m seeking,
its ridiculosa
and simply absurd.

Linking this piece of nonsense to The Sunday Muse http://thesundaymuse.blogspot.com/

NB: Il golf in Italian means jumper or sweater, lo shooting means photoshoot.

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20 thoughts on “I Speaka The Italian

  1. In “The Incomplete Book of Failures’ (a real book!) they mention a language guide entitled “The English As She Is Spoke.” The author wrote a Portuguese-to-English phrase book, but the problem was, he did it by using a Portuguese-to-French phrase book, then a French-to-English phrase book and the resulting game of telephone created some truly hilarious entries.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We do a lot of shooting here (U.S.) without a gun. Camera shot is first in line. A shot of alcoholic drink about second, golf third, exclamation, shoot! Or O shoot!, as a kid we even would shoot marbles, the larger size would be “the shooter”
    A fun Poem, Marion.
    ..

    Liked by 1 person

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